I don’t know and I suspect you don’t either. But, what I do know is that men and woman all over the world are being led to believe that they have to look a certain way in order to ‘fit-in’ or be good enough.
Lets be honest, (well I will), my social media platforms are flooded with ‘perfection’. Girls with ‘perfect’ hair, ‘perfect’ teeth, ‘perfect’ physiques, ‘perfect’ t*ts and bums. The reality is, it’s mostly fake. Those girls are insecure too. Isn’t it sad that most of us no longer feel that just being ourselves is enough. We live in a world where we idolise celebrities and have forgotten that the real hero’s, the people we should be idolising and respecting are ‘regular’ people – single parents raising their families, men and woman risking their lives to protect us from threats to our country, to protect us from crime or fire. The real hero’s are the individuals fighting their own demons but who still get up everyday and show the world kindness instead of their pain. The people who are sick and fighting disease but still smile, still find gratitude. Those rescuing animals and children from terrible circumstances, (apologies I’ve digressed slightly).
Anyway, back on track……..I’m going to share something with you all. *Another* chapter in my story that I haven’t shared before. I know, I know – there really is more. During one of my many surgeries I developed a blood clot…….in my cheek of all places, (face cheek not ass cheek – thought it best to clarify). So an emergency operation to prevent said clot reaching my brain meant cutting me open and breaking my jaw. I have residual scarring due to the ENORMOUS swelling and in the process a branch of my facial nerve was damaged. The end result – I now have this ‘quirky’ thing that happens when I talk and I have some asymmetry around my lower lip / chin.
have me believe this makes me unattractive, less than desirable. Add to that a quirky walk and what chance do I have? Sad as it is, sometimes I believe that too.
And then I decided I would do modelling part-time. I’ve seen the girls photographers I know work with. Jeeeessssuuuuuss, how could I ever think I could do it. Well honestly, I don’t know that I can BUT I enjoy it and I think there’s a MASSIVE part of me wants to prove that you don’t have to be ‘perfect’. You don’t have to strive to look like some bullshit celebrity.
The first time I ever flew on an aeroplane by myself, (post brain tumour obviously), I was worried sick. I wasn’t sure I’d negotiate the airport or be able to board the plane without someone to help me but I was determined to try and my pride prevented me from asking for airport assistance. When I told a very close friend this she looked me dead in the eye and said “that’s not it. Pride isn’t the reason for not using airport assistance. Its because deep down you know you can do it”. Best advice she’s ever given me. Actually she’s had a couple of other valid points since but this was definitely one of her best. My point is that I’ve taken a path that isn’t easy for me. And I doubt myself most days. Actually, everyday. Am I insecure? – yes. Am I confident? – hell no. Do I think I’m capable? – some days but not often. But I’ll try. Even on days when I’m riddled with anxiety, questioning my worth and feeling less than ‘perfect’ I’ll try. I might not succeed but I’ll have tried and ultimately that’s what’s most important. Karl Lagerfeld said it best when he stated: “I don’t like standard beauty – there is no beauty without strangeness”.
So I’ll take my strangeness and hopefully one day I’ll see that’s where the ‘real’ beauty lies. Hopefully one day society will promote ‘realness’ not ‘fakeness’. In the meantime I’ll continue to admire and champion the ‘real’ hero’s. The ones striving to make a difference in the world.