I’ve shared some of my highs with you all and now here’s one of my lows. To be fair it’s not a low low, I can assure you I’ve been in the depths and this is most definitely not it. This is just my reality for now. I’m struggling a bitty.
I’m aware that there are people that think I got lucky, that it’s ‘ok for me’. Let me tell you something I didn’t ‘get lucky’ and it’s not ‘ok for me’. I’m so medically complex it’s almost laughable. I just choose to work hard………..every SINGLE day. Read that again…………..EVERY SINGLE DAY. And there are times like now I have to work harder.
One of my MS symptoms is heat sensitivity. What that means is that when my core temperature rises, (even a fraction), my MS symptoms flare up temporarily until my core temperature decreases again. As the outside temperature gets warmer, (yes, I am actually talking about this corner of the world), then what I’ve just described is quite prevalent. So I struggle more than usual, my ‘quirky’ walk is quirkier, I’m a hot mess , I’m pretty fatigued, I don’t sleep, sometimes my limbs go ‘funny’. But I still go on……..I still work, I still train, I still take care of my shit. I have cool packs, I’m in a 3.5 tog duvet with my bedroom windows open and a fan that goes constantly. I have cool showers and it’s not uncommon for me to drench myself in water midway during training, (and I mean drench!!! It’s why I never wear white clothing in the gym). Cannabis oil helps too.
So the purpose of this post is to to say right now things are a bit more difficult. I’ll come around, this is my reality for a short while. Shit happens to me too, I just don’t dwell on it and it sure as fu*k doesn’t stop me.